Do Wedding Bands Need to Match?
Getting married is not something one takes lightly. It is a lifelong commitment to another person and it’s an (often formal) tradition that dates back centuries. Part of that tradition requires you to not only choose an engagement ring for your significant other, but also to choose wedding bands for yourself.
And with so many different options available nowadays, making those decisions on engagement and wedding rings can be difficult. Though traditions can vary across different cultures, an age-old question remains the same… to match or not to match? Only you and your significant other can decide, and the decision will be highly personal and unique to you both as a couple and as individuals.
There are no hard and fast rules that say your eternity bands have to be identical. It depends on your personal tastes, lifestyle needs, and what you both envision. Some couples like to have his and her wedding bands, whereas other couples may prefer to go the route of wearing wedding bands that complement each other.
Maybe the bands have similar details or shapes or are made of the same blend of metals. Perhaps they will be very similar in design yet be made with different widths. Slimmer rings look good on a woman, wider widths tend to be a better look for men’s wedding bands.
If you really can’t decide whether or not you want a matching set of custom wedding bands for you and your spouse, there are a couple of things you can do to help clarify your choice.
Discuss Your Preferences Before Fine Jewelry Shopping
Some men may care less whether or not their wedding ring matches their spouse’s wedding ring. Other men are much more particular. Sometimes it’s the bride-to-be who really could care less whether or not your wedding bands match. But neither of you will know unless you sit down and talk about what you envision for your future eternity band. If either of you feels strongly in one direction or the other, you’ll know that’s probably the best way to go.
If neither of you has a huge preference, then you can really start to boil it down to tastes and lifestyle considerations. If you find that you feel strongly one way, and your future spouse feels strongly the other way, you’ll need to make a compromise. Maybe that means deciding to go the complimentary wedding band route, or maybe it means agreeing that the rings can be different, as long as they’re made of the same materials.
Some couples might be happy with different rings but engraving each with a message or symbol that means something to both people adds a unique and individualized touch. These are all considerations that are important, and you won’t know where either of you land on the issue without talking it out.
Shop for Your Rings Together
While it might seem like a no brainer, sometimes just shopping for your rings together can make the decision to match or not match your wedding bands ten times easier. When you shop together, you can assess a lot of different styles of rings and try them on as a couple. You can try rings that draw your gaze and try rings that draw your future spouse’s eye.
You might even find you both love the same style, even if you thought you wouldn’t. Shopping together instead of alone can help you narrow down the field of choices and really cement whether or not you both want to match or be unique. Plus, when you visit jewelry stores together and try on different men’s and women’s wedding bands, you can take photos of each other wearing the various styles you both like, and then sleep on your decision.
Obviously, you want to choose wedding bands you’ll both love, because you’ll be wearing them not only on your wedding day, but for many years to come. His and hers wedding bands may not thrill you or maybe you’re seeking the perfect match. Either way, make a short list of the rings that thrill you and hammer out the details before making a purchase.
Top Reasons You May Want His and Hers Wedding Bands
One of the biggest reasons many couples opt for matching wedding bands is because of their commitment and love of tradition. It’s a practice that’s been handed down for generations and many men (and women especially) find themselves a stickler for tradition even if they never thought they would be. And that’s perfectly okay! There is nothing wrong with honoring long-held wedding and ceremony traditions. They are one of the many things that can make getting married such a special day.
Another reason many couples opt for matching wedding band sets is the symbolism. For some couples it signifies that two people have become one, and you are now a single unit. It might also serve to symbolize how well-matched you are as a couple. After all, if you like and wear the same style wedding band, that must mean you have similar tastes and are well matched in other areas too. So, if symbolism means something to you, you may want to consider a matching wedding set for that reason alone.
Sometimes you just want to keep things super simple. Maybe you don’t have a huge budget for engagement and wedding rings, or perhaps you just don’t want the headache of designing custom wedding bands. When you decide on matching wedding bands, it narrows down your options and it makes it easier to stay within your budget.
While a fancy, extravagant, unique ring might seem like what you want at first, you might decide the extra expense entailed with such rings would be better put toward creating memories and splurging on the honeymoon instead. Again, every couple’s needs and the situation will be different, which is why it’s important to talk these things over before making any hasty buying decisions.
Top Reasons You May NOT Want His and Hers Wedding Bands
Of course, for every traditionalist there’s always someone who loves to buck the status quo, be unique, and create their own traditions. If that’s you, then you might be better off choosing rings that complement each other rather than match. Some couples prefer to show off their own individuality in their choice of wedding rings, and that’s perfectly okay too.
Another reason you may not want matching wedding rings is because your spouse-to-be may not totally love their ring. Obviously, it’s important that you both love your chosen wedding bands, and sometimes a matching wedding band set just doesn’t cut the mustard with one of you. Rather than forcing your other half to wear a ring they aren’t in love with, it may be wiser (and less stressful) to choose your own unique custom design of a ring and opt for complimentary details or engravings.
Then of course, there are the style fashionistas who want rings that perfectly compliment them, right down to the shape of their hand, the size of their hand, and even their skin tone. Sometimes that doesn’t happen with his and hers wedding band set. When you want something that’s highly customized and individual to you, it doesn’t make sense to shop for matching rings.
Instead, put your heads together and design your own perfectly unique rings that you both adore, and agree to personalize them in some way that ties you both together. Maybe you engrave each ring with the same words, or perhaps you each use a special, matching gemstone as a centerpiece of the ring. There are so many ways to customize men’s wedding bands, as well as women’s wedding bands and make them unique, the sky’s the limit.
When you aren’t sure you want matching wedding bands and you don’t think you want wedding bands that don’t match, choosing complimentary wedding bands may be your best option. Complimentary wedding band sets are typically bands of the same style that use perhaps different metals or different gemstones. Or on the flip side, perhaps the wedding bands are designed with the same precious metal and gemstones but are made in a different style for each of you. The point is, they complement each other without being exactly the same.
Shopping for Your Wedding Bands
Whether you decide on matching wedding bands, complimentary wedding bands, or something altogether different, there are a few things to consider. Talking about these things and deciding on them beforehand means your shopping experience will go a lot faster and smoother.
Discuss Your Metals
There are many different metals to choose from when deciding on wedding band styles. You could go yellow gold for a classic, timeless look and feel. Rose gold is also very popular, while many couples love white gold.
Platinum is a more traditional option that is often chosen, especially for people with allergies to certain metals. Men often prefer alternative metals as well, such as titanium and black zirconium. Or you could go with materials like meteorite or wood rings for an extremely unique look. It all depends on your tastes as a couple, but it’s good to decide before you shop because then your jeweler can show you just what you’re looking for.
Discuss Colors and Finishes
Deciding what colors and finishes you like ahead of time can also streamline your shopping experience. Your choice of metal will determine the colors available. Black zirconium is black, while white gold will be white. However, some golds can have different colors and hues based on the metal alloys they are mixed with.
Wood rings will have different colors based on the type of wood used to make them. As far as finishes go, some couples like the matte look, while others love a satin finish that is more traditional. Other couples may prefer a hammered finish to give their wedding band set a more unique look.
Another thing to consider is whether or not you want gemstones on your rings or not. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, so they say, and many men love some good bling too. Some couples like colored diamonds or other precious stones like sapphires or rubies. Some couples prefer wedding bands with no stones on them, just solid metal with perhaps an overlay of another metal or material. There is no right or wrong choice, it all boils down to personal preferences and what works best for you as a couple.
Discuss Cuts and Designs
Custom wedding bands run the gamut in style and design. There are modern and edgy styles, contemporary and sweet styles, traditional styles, and more. At the end of the day, whatever design and style you choose should match your personality and tastes. If you’re a simple, no-fuss kind of person, a simple, no-frills design may be perfect for you. If you like glitz or more creativity with your jewelry, there are plenty of options for that as well. Same goes for the married athletes who have certain requirements for their wedding band! Consider your own personal tastes and those of your future spouse and come up with words to describe those tastes.
By discussing all of these things ahead of time, you’ll be more prepared and will know what to tell your jeweler so they can present you only with options that suit you. Otherwise, it can be very easy to become overwhelmed by the many different designs, cuts, colors, metals, gems, and materials, and suffer information overload.
Remember there are no hard and fast rules that say his and hers wedding bands are a requirement. You wedding bands don’t have to match. They don’t even have to complement each other if you don’t want them to. You are the only one that will be wearing your wedding band and you’ll be wearing it for a very long time. So just like you chose your future spouse… choose a ring you love for eternity.